How to use "the why filter" to save yourself from burnout

In her book, Build Your Dream Network, author, speaker, podcast host, and networking expert J. Kelly Hoey describes how she uses “the why filter” to prioritize her time and energy, make better decisions, and save herself from FOMO (fear of missing out).

Many of us are facing remote event fatigue right now and using “the why filter” is helping me manage my time and avoid burnout.

When people first started physical distancing, working from home, and adapting to sheltering-in-place guidelines, many welcomed the influx of remote events to help keep us connected during a time when lots of people were feeling isolated. In less than a few weeks, I’m finding myself feeling a bit overwhelmed by all of the options.

When I looked at my calendar this week, I was surprised to see six webinars, five calls, and a reading series. Where did all of these come from!? Well, I put them there. And because I signed up, I feel like I should attend.

Back when we congregated in person, it was almost easier to make decisions about events and meetings. If I was too tired or couldn’t deal with the commute or had somewhere else to be, I’d weigh my options and make a decision about whether or not I would attend something. Now, with everything a click away, I’m finding it harder to say no. 

In this time of endless Zoom calls, livestreams, and other online events, using “the why filter” can help you make decisions that move you toward your goals and avoid getting burned out by the abundance of choice.

Why why? Kelly says, “asking why is all about taking control and putting yourself in front of opportunities.”

Here’s “the why filter” she uses:

  • Is the opportunity aligned with my goal(s)?

  • Will my participation add value to the other attendees and be valuable for me?

  • Does the opportunity expand my network and/or strengthen existing relationships?

  • What does my gut say?

Having too many events to choose from can lead to burnout. Symptoms may include biting through pencils in frustration, like this. Use “the why filter” to make better decisions that are aligned with your goals. Save a pencil today.

Having too many events to choose from can lead to burnout. Symptoms may include biting through pencils in frustration, like this. Use “the why filter” to make better decisions that are aligned with your goals. Save a pencil today.

“The why filter” is essentially a Know-Think-Do decision-making process that will highlight the problem you’re trying to solve in the first place, bring you back to your goals, eliminate distractions, and spur you to take effective action.

With “the why filter”, you’ll never feel FOMO again. You’ll know why you declined an invitation to that workshop or happy hour and you’ll be able to focus on what you really want to do with purpose and clarity.

As seen in my Twitter advice to slash unnecessary meetings, I do not like to waste time with things I shouldn’t be doing.

But, as someone who also loves to do lots of things, I often have to save myself from myself. In the past month, I have been bombarded with remote event options (and I’m part of the problem with my reading series and workshops). I would happily go to them all and never sleep and magically extend my days to be 100 hours long. But I do not have a time-turner. So I use “the why filter”.

For example, I was signed up for a workshop about mindfulness this morning. But I have plenty of other things on my plate today and I’m reading at a friend’s reading series this evening. So:

Is the opportunity aligned with my goal(s)?

Yes, I would like to continue learning about mindfulness. But, I also have more pressing matters to attend to today.

Will my participation add value to the other attendees and be valuable for me?

No, actually. The event organizer sent some things to do to prepare ahead of time and I didn’t prioritize doing that. I also see that we’re going to have to split out into breakout sessions throughout the workshop and, with my reading coming up later, I think that will be a little draining for me to be on screen that much along with my other calls today.

Does the opportunity expand my network and/or strengthen existing relationships?

Not if I show up unprepared and can’t contribute effectively!

What does my gut say?

I want more coffee. Just kidding. It says to skip it. I have the info for it in my email inbox. If I ever want to follow up later, I can. Now about that coffee...

Using “the why filter” will help you prioritize your time, make better decisions, and eliminate events, meetings, and other things that aren’t aligned with your goals.

It’s not about being a relentless productivity machine, always analyzing options with a checklist. It’s an easy, gentle practice you can build in to your day that will help provide you with the mental space to focus on what’s best for you—and we could all use a little of that right now.